Cannot Focus

Hey, Assalammualaikum!
So here's the nerd is home. Hey it's about one and half month more before the final exam. Still got a lot to review back and learn. I wanna cry. My head is exploding. I want that overflowing spirit of depleting for almu like i was when i first enter the technical school but ... so much had happened. KAA   had gone from my life like he said about me "She had gone from my life"
Nothing stays forever huh? Im glad that i didnt cry or do anything stupid this time just to move on. Cuts, shouts, and scream is not my thing. Scream is but im living with a bunch of girls, if i scream, they maybe thought i was a having hysteria.

Hey new stalker. I was a little bit embarrassed when two of my classmates talks about my blog at school and they read the last post about a guy. ugh. I thought they don't even notice the link in my insta as anybody never did. They said it's sad. I can only sigh.

He can go with that girl i dont mind but let's focus on what had happen after that. i become blur. To be precise, i think i can't focus, i'm getting lazy, i eat less and have a lot of headache along the day. Instead of that, i've been going to court to continue practicing volleyball is not for the same reason. It feels that the feeling had bloom toward a stranger. I wanted to be alone without committing sins and having a relationship with an ajnabi. Ya Allah help.

Through the year, I've been walking on the hallways facing my head down without seeing any of boys' faces clearly but how did people particularly boys start to know me? It's because of volleyball ? The court has to be share with boys and next to it is a futsal court? Wow? Pathetic.

They are just fcking distraction freaks