Stress is Me.

Knowing that the only person who can give an advise is yourself. The only way to survive.

Asaallamualaikum. Ramadhan Kareem ! Ramadhan Kareem ! Ramadhan Kareem! hehe
two weeks of holiday is almost over and the hectic life will come back haunting us. Alhamdulillah ya Allah. Make me feel grateful for every little thing i got in this life. I had too much to say before i can even type. Most people that know me will always know that i always think faster before i can type, it makes me made many typos xD

After i return home from my hostel, i packed up for 4 days trip to Kedah where one of my cousin will be holding a wedding ceremony there since he married someone from there. I was excited a little since we travelled using bullet train and buses instead of the car. Whatever it is, i can never stop falling asleep. I was travelling with a moody and stress mood. I dunno what's wrong with me but it was a short vacay. I could only spend time finishing "Just one day" and most of the time eating and using smartphone. Mom said we are going for shopping. So i spent for a sandal but i really regret on the clothes that i bought which total up to 300 for all three girls in the family. *sigh*

Actually what i can say is, i have been finishing all the hw i was suppose to do except i dunno if im learning too or just copying down the answers ( i hope not ) Anyway i have been spending the whole one week at my village which is my second home because my brother will continue his studying around that area. So, I was mostly spending time with books. Books? Anyone heard that? Yeah not actually books that you really can enjoyed. It's actually the one that make you fall asleep with it.

Since the first Ramadhan I've been praying for the best to change myself to be better but i keep on fighting with my sister winning who's right and who's wrong. It aint working. The fact that i felt like my family is drifting apart and breaking, i cant change myself that easy and the only solution was praying. Please. Just help me. I could at least get the stress out of myself from anywhere. Everywhere and everytime all that stuck in my head was being stress. It's not good for my health and i know that but i couldnt avoid it no more.

I had been letting the anger grow in me for these months. i cant even watch my mouth from saying hurtful stuff. my mom had been thrown some hurtful words from me that i later on regret for saying it. i'm the kind that was so stubborn that's afraid to easily go and apologies. tbh, i am jealous for those who are making their mother like a best friend but i wanted the same too. i just couldnt. Whenever i share my problem with her, she always said that im complaining. yeah it's right that the children should be the one who is helping their parents. but how could i help knowing im not even that close to sharing problems with me?

there's only 3 days left and all i got to do was finishing my hw and get back to the jail where i faced problem with friends again. Now, did you here, friends. am i judgemental? people see me like im like does picky ppl who just dont appreciate things, who got problems with everything and yeah. i tried ! okay give me a chance to change. it's difficult but i never stop trying yet.....