Updatessss

Hellloooooo its been so long i've not been updating. I mean yeah from the previous posts i told you i was going to update at least once a month  but it's not working either and i think im trying to find a way to tangle my mixed feelings by writing either here or in my teme's journal :3 even the journal i stopped writing because im too busy. now, there's a lot tell-a-tale!!!!!! too excited but finger crossed for me to finish this post soon.

Sooooo..... if i had a poll for you guys to vote maybe none of you will vote because....nobody seems to visit this website anymore? hahaha anyway who cares? so here i am about to babble.

1. Finished finals
2. Eid for two days + Ramadhan vibes?
3. Old love ew but yeah if i feel like it 
4. Work experience

So wow MashaAllah what a long list lol so where should we start. Maybe 1 and 2 i will combine. 

Let's start!

This year, the December sitting for ACCA will be during the last days of Ramadhan and the three first day of Eid. can you imagine that? i mean yea, for muslims we should be all out for the few last night in Ramadhan and who enjoys the first eid and now we had to study? everyone would be eating rendang and ketupat, we all have to eat the books? huhuuhuh but gratefully, this year i took Taxation and Audit and the exam was during the last two days of Ramadhan. can you imagine how i feel a total lost when all i did was studying instead of sitting in the masjid, reading AQ and praying? :( all i did was making a doa, doa, doa. During this week, I tell you, i had nobody to rely on because for the last freaking days, my college had to be close down, and we had to make a clearance. Right then, not a single of my housemates approach me to tell me that they are moving out in a different college without me. Actually i already predicted that they wouldnt want to be in the same house as me but they didnt tell in a rightful manners. After all these assumptions, I was just being positive, until i went out for the weekend for Daurah ( which i had my iktikaf at Masjid Putra Wallahi i tell you it was soooo heartwarming to be there during fasting but yeah there is a lot of people and foreigner because we got free iftar and Suhoor and oh there is also qiamualail which the imam did Solat tasbih, solat Taubah and Tahajjud that day :3) 

 oh long description in the parentheses but yeah what happen after i came back, they all were gone together with the curtains. im like..... im not being a sensitive moron here but hey, is my feelings to puny as my body to be considered? yeah i should not be too emotional by people's words and action but they were too rude :) and i accept the fact that we are not housemate anymore. Out of all the sticky notes for goods words i gave to them, i would not count them and may Allah gives you guidance and happiness is the least i wish for. 

Regardless above, i am really hard trying to control my feelings so it wont affect my studies but then Allah tests me again and again on the spot to tell me that feelings are, too, temporary in this world. Oh with that, during daurah too, i met my sister's old friend and she advises me that feelings are tiny and it's real. It wont make us to do things we need to do, and feelings wont put you further in the path full of thorns. its in me and my determination that did. because if we follow our feelings, it will just be a while :)

I took my exam in Midvalley, a building right outside the megamall. Good grief, my papers was one after another and i didnt have a lot of time to prepare for the last paper for the last night because i just came back exhausted for the first paper but yeah do pray for my papers so that i pass!!! ( i need to have faith in me because right now the light is too little. the reason is, i didnt come home relief :/) [Tawakkal]

Right after that last paper, i cleaned up my room ( every last minute ea this girl ) and moved out with the help of my brothers. oh right my new room is on the 4th level, and my roomate? I wish she can consider my silenceness.The new college ( not exactly new, it was the first one to exist) only consist of 4 person with a bathroom and this was the college that my parents had forever since telling to move out at first. Anyways, next?

Eid and Ramadhan Vibes

oh so its still eid so Eid Mubarak everyone. I didnt felt so much Eid this year because i think i just finished my papers, and all i can think of was if i passed and i hope so. my mom didnt cook that much because she ordered the food from someone from the hometown and those that come to celebrate at my house was all just my relatives. i still eat a lot ketupat , lemang and rendang but i got too dizzy ( maybe because there is too much cholesterol in it? and yeah my outfit didnt really fit me. i mean i didnt mean that fit in. it was gigantic lol. i looked like someone gave me a barrel to wear. so my dress need to be amended. Anyway above all that, after the third/fourth eid, my mom and my brother including me, sent back my sister because she will be sitting for her finals soon( yeah because she is in different uni then me and yea too bad huhhu ) 

Eid Mubarak from us

same face right huahua 

About the ramadhan vibes i had wrote some above but i think i didn't go all out for this Ramadhan again :( i only got to iktikaf at the mosque 2 times and i didnt get to finish my readings for the AQ but one thing that is new to me even though all of us already know that fasting was not only holding yourself from eating or drinking, it also hold yourself from doing bad (sinning) things and to train ourselves that when Ramadhan leaves us, it is not because it is in a holy month but it is ourselves that change for the better. I also get this feeling from the daurah and also from the book called "Ibadah Sepenuh Hati" by Amru Khalid, where it teaches us to feel our Ibadah by heart not by physical. I really wish it wasnt Eid yet because to be honest, i didnt feel the vibes to celebrate except to worship because i know that after this, it wont be easy as waking up at 3 am for qiam. i just wish i could beat myself up for not waking up early. 

Let's skip to the work experience shall we?

So this is what i mean i only celebrate Eid for 2 days, because i commit into working as waiter at Secret Recipe in Senai Airport. I know i know i know that my sem break was only one month but i just want to be busy and i dislike sitting at home even though my mom wanted me to be at home ._. Moreover, the reason is because i wanted to help my sister to find money so she could go for the student exchange. I didnt know it would be this tired because i think i overworked that i got sick. my throat was sore, and my leg was numb, and my head was floating. but i kept on working for two days until one night, i really cant swallow even my saliva. i didnt sleep until 3 am just trying to calm down and swallow properly. I even search for honey or something acid and all i find was the blackpepper :( that  night too fresh even though i was sooo tired soo tired but i still cant fall asleep. i dunno how slept but i wake up every hour. it's really wasted that i didnt wake up and pray :/ 

The next day, gratefully, my dad was at home, and he brought me to the doctor. having medicine was a lot better. huhuhuhu. so i took MC. actually, the day after the MC i was having a 2 days off but i could take it anymore. huhhu so there you gooo im still at home.

 

Ignoring no 3, i think i finished updating all about this month and a little from the month before. so yeah adios guys, pray for me peace out