Slow progression
2 days ago i got a positive messages from 2 of my friends saying how they cared about me and how caring about them made a relief for them. Alhamdulillah, since forever,all i need was to surround myself with positive people because what i have known that i was told 'negative mind' of mine would not settle any less. I guess all i felt was too looking down on myself that i sometimes didnt see any good in me. Not good enough not bearable enough to anywhere in any of the group. I could take a 'weirdo' as a compliment for that. I dunno since went i have been downgrading myself and i know it is not a good habit to nature. All I am hoping now is i get to eliminate all the 'toxic' especially those people who made me negative. but it is not easy.
To be blabbing what i just said is the opening for today. Guessing i dunno the DAY of i-dunno-what after this Restriction Movement Order have been implemented in Malaysia due the covid-19, it have been my goals to at least post something during this phase. I know, i know, i know due to my ACCA exams, I shouldnt be staying up for blogging and rather be in the dining table studying for my screwed up professional papers. I'm guessing my June exam got postponed to September made me into somekind of a holiday mode because to be honest my hours in the day have been dominated by phones and games. Astagfirullah. for that.
For a wake up call, i had a friend just two days ago checked on me and how my studies have going and she was totally right... and i was a bit of shock and surprise because all along she had been talking full of herself and how wanted to graduated really badly by the end of the year but the fate wasnt in our side. I, too, was putting hope to finish in time because few weeks ago i was being noted by my father that he will be finishing his contract on his work and i will be the first person to ever sat foot on the industry. Wow thats a huge responsible but yes due to that i felt the same but it was not the same energy my friend here had. But i guess she had notice that i nvr been replying whenever she talked how badly her exam were but still perform well. So yeah that why i got the feeling that she doesnt care about anyway. Therefore, the long worrying message really had set be awed and touched by it :') for those who were with me, they might say that i always have this kind of 'formal' relationship/friendship with my friends because i never been so that outgoing friends for any of them so this friend right here, i really wish she passed her own way through because out of displeasure, she had thought me a lot of thing. May Allah bless her! "Slow and steady, stop comparing yourself to other, all you are doing is for yourself" :) Allahuma barik.
And also due to this, i just wanted to update my current condition and oh its 8 days to go FOR RAMADHAN! I mean who doesnt feel excited. Erm i think im 5% of the happiness because we cant go terawih or bazaar outside because there isn't gonna be one. Like my mom said, it's going back to life at Saudi where everything have to be cooked and handmade. lol. So yeah, i really really have to push myself out of the comfort zone. I mean i guess my habit have been coming back to me :( which is what? Sleeping late and waking up late. Not being able to wake up for tahajud is normal now which should not be the case as i should be the role model as someone in tarbiyah :/ but i guess i have been failing on that. Allah....
To be blabbing what i just said is the opening for today. Guessing i dunno the DAY of i-dunno-what after this Restriction Movement Order have been implemented in Malaysia due the covid-19, it have been my goals to at least post something during this phase. I know, i know, i know due to my ACCA exams, I shouldnt be staying up for blogging and rather be in the dining table studying for my screwed up professional papers. I'm guessing my June exam got postponed to September made me into somekind of a holiday mode because to be honest my hours in the day have been dominated by phones and games. Astagfirullah. for that.
For a wake up call, i had a friend just two days ago checked on me and how my studies have going and she was totally right... and i was a bit of shock and surprise because all along she had been talking full of herself and how wanted to graduated really badly by the end of the year but the fate wasnt in our side. I, too, was putting hope to finish in time because few weeks ago i was being noted by my father that he will be finishing his contract on his work and i will be the first person to ever sat foot on the industry. Wow thats a huge responsible but yes due to that i felt the same but it was not the same energy my friend here had. But i guess she had notice that i nvr been replying whenever she talked how badly her exam were but still perform well. So yeah that why i got the feeling that she doesnt care about anyway. Therefore, the long worrying message really had set be awed and touched by it :') for those who were with me, they might say that i always have this kind of 'formal' relationship/friendship with my friends because i never been so that outgoing friends for any of them so this friend right here, i really wish she passed her own way through because out of displeasure, she had thought me a lot of thing. May Allah bless her! "Slow and steady, stop comparing yourself to other, all you are doing is for yourself" :) Allahuma barik.
And also due to this, i just wanted to update my current condition and oh its 8 days to go FOR RAMADHAN! I mean who doesnt feel excited. Erm i think im 5% of the happiness because we cant go terawih or bazaar outside because there isn't gonna be one. Like my mom said, it's going back to life at Saudi where everything have to be cooked and handmade. lol. So yeah, i really really have to push myself out of the comfort zone. I mean i guess my habit have been coming back to me :( which is what? Sleeping late and waking up late. Not being able to wake up for tahajud is normal now which should not be the case as i should be the role model as someone in tarbiyah :/ but i guess i have been failing on that. Allah....
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