DAY 6: WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF

here i am again procrastinating on what i should be doing and what i should have done. I am sorry if you had been following me from the first day and i havent been keeping up with my challenge. at least im trying :(

DAY 6: WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF

From the bottom of my heart, i would say that many people have fears in different kind of things and could be varies kinds of thing you cant never think of. What i might be afraid of might be generally what others might be afraid of to, sooooo here we go. 

For a weakling like me, there are so many things that i could be afraid of, tbh. I could go on forever and the way to stop being afraid was really to remember who Created you so... whatever it is, may the fears last and not really hunt you forever. 

1. Losing the Loved Ones

Yes, this could be everybody's right? Especially your parents, your friends, your close ones huhuuhu i know i've been so much a good daughter during this RMO but i tried to fulfill that and just how i treat them always reflect me as how if they wasnt there for me anymore.. Yeah they are the ones who been there your upside down and the next thing you know, they are no longer there for you. It will really crush your hearts and deep down you will feel like you have no place to hope one ( except Allah) but i mean like humanity part, ya know. So, just really hope and learning appreciating people in my life now that when they are gone, i dont lose anything and in the side notes, people will always come and go.

Talking about maybe someone im having right now in my life, Im just afraid they will got bored of me and walk away. I mean i really do despite of thinking i would cool of it because of the faith part, who doesnt hurt if someone you know for a long time doesnt need you anymore. It will totally change your life soon enough. By that moment, im just wishing i am strong 

2. Failing exam

At this point, i have not yet failed any papers. it's not that im hoping for it since this pandemic strike, my motivation on studying really really at it's lowest point and im trying to regain it back as i will be having my finals around 2 more month from now?! Yeah so the things is, even though im afraid of failing, that was really the part that plays the main role as why i have been pushing myself during the CAT and now that knowing it will be okay, i seems to forget where i stand. sooooooo, it's not me who's worrying, it was actually friend. which is quite shocking. So i really... have to sit and reflect..

3. Not accepted good deeds

[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving -

  Yup, that was in surah al-Mulk verse number 2 which one of the remainder and also does many other verse that constantly keep on remainding that this life are full of tests so that Allah could see which good deeds are the best among us. I think this was should the highest fears everyone should have (hahaha im talking about me right now aint i?) So, yea i was keep on figuring myself what that if i was being like the Munafiq you know. Nauzubillahimindzalik. I know that Emaan will always be at the upside down state but it is really our role to keep it constant. 

But here i am acting like im a normal person instead of being a person in Tarbiyyah (daie) doing dakwah at the same time committing sins :''( i know i have been choosing so many bad options in my life but i was still trying to put myself on the right path. If controlling Nafs was easy, we could just snap our fingers and be in the Heaven. I mean why in the world should i be dreaming to go to Heaven? I mean duh, dude, everyone need to pray and wish what kind of Heaven you wanted to be! Are you gonna live in this world forever? NO!  

So yeah to conclude this, yes i am commiting sins that i should have been able to live it since i was doing some big role in the world. 

What im afraid of might not be what you are afraid of so what are you afraid of? ;) mind sharing it in the comment :)