Heartache *
Asallamualaikum~
Every now and then, I feel like crying. I dont know what makes me sad just in a second and the second after I can change it . I always tell myself that my listener is up there, the greatest of all, the one who knows what's good for me. I am the bad here. I felt like no one actually care if I am sick, I am hurt, or even if I just need a hug .Yes you are right I am WEAK. You are stronger than me. But maybe crying makes me stronger. Cry makes me think about everything. About the life im having now, the words i cant remember, how stupid I am to not get what i study into my big head, and about what am I who dont know anything much about my own religion. Iamscaredwhilenobody appear to give the light. I tried to keep praying but I give up on the way. I am useless.
Dear blog, I can find myself anywhere. Dear heart, wake up from all that black spot. I admit I cant do anything farther now. It's lost.
There'e a lot of thing that will just keep coming and I have to keep strong and take it. My studies and my acting class. These are all I am worried about if I could take it or not. It's all near. My acting is sucking bad. No one tell me what is seriously acting and "someone" just put my beautiful name and there I am standing shouting all my heart out until my voice is empty now. Was this an option ? I have to take all of this until the end of the month :(
When life got this rough......time is sooo soo ugh.......I lost myself
Acting is the most tiring thing to do -.- Who the heck told the "people" that I can act ?! Sh*t y dont they put themselves first? Not me ? and ohh I see, you want a revenge ? Look, I am the worst actress ._. Nobody told me what to do, people get mad at me, I am freezing, the teachers' words are *deep* and hey I am not professional that I can do things on my own :( Instead of me making myself embarrass, let me out of this !
If i speak , I really feel like these things is not really important and that's why I write . I shall keep the rest that I can let out :') Salam .
Every now and then, I feel like crying. I dont know what makes me sad just in a second and the second after I can change it . I always tell myself that my listener is up there, the greatest of all, the one who knows what's good for me. I am the bad here. I felt like no one actually care if I am sick, I am hurt, or even if I just need a hug .Yes you are right I am WEAK. You are stronger than me. But maybe crying makes me stronger. Cry makes me think about everything. About the life im having now, the words i cant remember, how stupid I am to not get what i study into my big head, and about what am I who dont know anything much about my own religion. Iamscaredwhilenobody appear to give the light. I tried to keep praying but I give up on the way. I am useless.
Dear blog, I can find myself anywhere. Dear heart, wake up from all that black spot. I admit I cant do anything farther now. It's lost.
There'e a lot of thing that will just keep coming and I have to keep strong and take it. My studies and my acting class. These are all I am worried about if I could take it or not. It's all near. My acting is sucking bad. No one tell me what is seriously acting and "someone" just put my beautiful name and there I am standing shouting all my heart out until my voice is empty now. Was this an option ? I have to take all of this until the end of the month :(
When life got this rough......time is sooo soo ugh.......I lost myself
Acting is the most tiring thing to do -.- Who the heck told the "people" that I can act ?! Sh*t y dont they put themselves first? Not me ? and ohh I see, you want a revenge ? Look, I am the worst actress ._. Nobody told me what to do, people get mad at me, I am freezing, the teachers' words are *deep* and hey I am not professional that I can do things on my own :( Instead of me making myself embarrass, let me out of this !
If i speak , I really feel like these things is not really important and that's why I write . I shall keep the rest that I can let out :') Salam .
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