Move On
Move on. The hardest thing for me to do. Hardly for anyone. Takes me for almost one year or maybe more to move on from someone. That's pathetic but a fact about me.
Leaving me alone without nothing to make me busy will cause a pain to me. I will start to overthink every mistakes i did especially to people. Depends who i made me mad, happy, and at the same time useless. i cant get rid of people who dont answer every&each off my questions. it's annoying when they don't you know?
i'm guessing i haven't move on from someone i loved for a long time. the longest. count it. it's almost about year. mannnn. i have to love myself from doing things that could lead me to the wrong path :(
i tried so much. I thought i did move on and because i liked someone. Someone MashaAllah i can see his big heart sometimes and loyalty. But it was much more in him. kaa. yes that's it. i just love overprotective for some reason. damn . everything i thought the things i want always came to me. being him was like you feel safe. it's like just wish for cakes and amos famous and they are right there around the corner of the neighbour giving it to you. he could buy things for your happiness. is that what girls wanted? but not me. at least i appreciated. but i wanted who would not feeding my thought it'll wont go away and that Someone just... i dunno anymore.
Last night i stayed up since i had a day off from my work (P.S. it's the best till now but ouch my legs are getting off xD) and had a conversation with one of my beloved friend aka big sister in KSA. MashaAllah i really adore her so much i wanna cry :( haha. She told me about how i shouldnt get in any relationship because it not worth it and Allah had created us in pairs and when the time comes the right man will come. this help me cope myself and sadly just for a while ._. (should have attach a screenshot for that but daymn the usb is sucked up) at the same time, i was having a conversation with him.......i dont know what im trying say to him but he replied. that butterflies and sparkle in heart has gone but i know he didnt move on yet too. he wanted me to see him so much and giving hope.
wow i just said it didnt i? i tried too hard to put effort in literally everything. but of course we shouldnt see what 'effort' if you are sincere. I wish i could just stop trying you know. keep listening to other people opinions and it ruins me. so much. can you digest all my words? if you speak other language than this i would say dont try to EVEN reading this. do you think i should private this blog? yeah? in shaa Allah then it will. im trying hard to breath.
the place i worked at. he was there too. the other day he came searching for me but i was glad that i had my break because my heart might skip a beat? eww.. he send regards to me but i ignored and now i was wishing that i saw him. i just miss everything it once. regret is it? I dont think so. it's not my fault to ask to be friends? we almost forget it, almost as perfect as we always been but then.... that night he brought back the topic and the bluetick wins as usual hahaha. i wasnt hurt. he got another girl. so fast and then blame me for finding someone better? WHAT we are never ever ever getting back together~
and so what do i want? just to forget everything....:(
WTYL :)
Leaving me alone without nothing to make me busy will cause a pain to me. I will start to overthink every mistakes i did especially to people. Depends who i made me mad, happy, and at the same time useless. i cant get rid of people who dont answer every&each off my questions. it's annoying when they don't you know?
 |
i tried so much. I thought i did move on and because i liked someone. Someone MashaAllah i can see his big heart sometimes and loyalty. But it was much more in him. kaa. yes that's it. i just love overprotective for some reason. damn . everything i thought the things i want always came to me. being him was like you feel safe. it's like just wish for cakes and amos famous and they are right there around the corner of the neighbour giving it to you. he could buy things for your happiness. is that what girls wanted? but not me. at least i appreciated. but i wanted who would not feeding my thought it'll wont go away and that Someone just... i dunno anymore.
Last night i stayed up since i had a day off from my work (P.S. it's the best till now but ouch my legs are getting off xD) and had a conversation with one of my beloved friend aka big sister in KSA. MashaAllah i really adore her so much i wanna cry :( haha. She told me about how i shouldnt get in any relationship because it not worth it and Allah had created us in pairs and when the time comes the right man will come. this help me cope myself and sadly just for a while ._. (should have attach a screenshot for that but daymn the usb is sucked up) at the same time, i was having a conversation with him.......i dont know what im trying say to him but he replied. that butterflies and sparkle in heart has gone but i know he didnt move on yet too. he wanted me to see him so much and giving hope.
wow i just said it didnt i? i tried too hard to put effort in literally everything. but of course we shouldnt see what 'effort' if you are sincere. I wish i could just stop trying you know. keep listening to other people opinions and it ruins me. so much. can you digest all my words? if you speak other language than this i would say dont try to EVEN reading this. do you think i should private this blog? yeah? in shaa Allah then it will. im trying hard to breath.
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and so what do i want? just to forget everything....:(
WTYL :)
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