Unexplainable ...

Let me just asked, out of many girls in Malaysia who have liked you, Why did you choose me ?

I dont need any "Why you ask that my dear?"

But I just wants to know . Is this just a joke ?

Ye~ I just wanna say that I havent been single for A LONG LONG TIME. And why didnt I just reject this one and let him search for someone else and LEAVE ME ALONE . Cauz I dont feel like being alone. It's just hurt. I just get sad easily. N Now whn someone really really care about me, I just dont have the guts anymore? Yea. Where is the daring part of me? Yea ? Haha. (why am I talking like this ) Did I accept him because I feel pity ? that could be mean . I have stalk everything. Almost everything. But he wont tell me his history. The fact that I know is that he have been dating some girls upper than him. N I was like --' hmm afraid ? yea.  and the fact that He was A Gangster . (gotta admit Im scared)

He wants to go out with me which I've been expecting when I was with someone else but this one.. hm.. I think I accept him while Im not READY YET -.- I think I should tell him the truth. But Im just afraid :{

HELP ME ! I THINK IM CONFUSE :{

All I can say if I accept him is that, He change because of me. Could you believe that ? Is that enough ? I think NO ._. I hav been trying not tweet any nonsense things because it just making someone's TL full of my life story morry #get it ;__; I know that everything is planned but is tis a test ? o.O  Haaaaa! I dont know what's wrong with me right now ! ><  Hm. Is he too much for me ? Tbh, I stalk Nazi. Like not just him. Someone evn close to him. It could be his sister or his friend or evn his teacher >) kahkahkah Im no1 stalker :3 Maybe not ,_, Lol. But i just feel sad. u know. Nazi loves me for real, change whn I came, and just take care of while he fights for his sickness (yes he does have one too , which I feel sad.. :'| ) 

I easily get awkward and any other feeling I can get when he just dont want me too be mad (but not only that) , that the word "ILY" just slips whenever he likes to say it . He didnt just say it but he prove it to me --' I know I havent been showing him much ._. N I think he kinda disappointed with that. If he wanna do something he tells me or he asks me . which is pretty gud. Ah . I just wanna say I dont want to get deeply in love . or should I say Im not deeply in love with him. N Yea. n I shouldnt . Cauz Im tired of pain. If he could really understand why I didnt accept him whn he said "Will you be mine?" he'd be someone who help me through my problems. but no. N Im trying my best to love him as he is :')

This thing did happen to me --' Damn xD

I wanna tell him that I want to take a break , until the time when I go back to Malaysia then he can talk to me agn. But that would be so so so mean. I know Im nice :3 n I cant do that . It would just be called a break up :/  (That's what sista said :'( ) n i think Im avoiding him saying "I Love U" by doing I dont know errors in saying ?  :\ I just dont want him to say it too much that will cauz himself to hurt IF i have to leave him some day. Yes . Dont ask why cauz my parent decision is always not settled and change everytime. Because ? They just dont agree with each other >< I shouldnt be thinking about it too much but not wanting to listen them fighting is the worse :{

Hurm. mehmeh. Move on ? Forget ? Being leaved ? That's all Allah's power :) be strong and accept the reality . :*

Choy tonight I'll be celebrating Eid at someone's house . Hurm. I'll be finally meeting someone :'D Hope so ! :3 Salam -