Im Scared of My Future
Asallamualaikum !:D Finally Im back on the land of Malaysia . tsk, tsk .
There is soooo much going on and I didnt have the time to write :'{ n Im sorry if you guys in KSA . My babes that I didnt chat with you :c I didnt forget you its just you know hard to explain my situation right now.
Please do understand that it doesnt mean i've new friends i forget about you guys D: Hm .
My life right now is totally not in order right now . I have to adjust every single thing that I do in KSA to what we do in Malaysia . But it's not always right . And most toppest damn problem is : I have to keep trying to continue my studies in the new skool . It is a public skool , we wear uniforms and we hav rules. Last week was really really really a busy week ! going with an exam and the catch up :c AH ! tbh , I didnt sleep for two days and didnt properly eat doing the hw that we were suppose to do whn I was still in KSA :s
The worst thing ever . That exam is for Bahasa Melayu (Malaysian subject) ! NO ! n All i think is about failing . I was already giving up and oh ! I was already giving up whn our geography teacher said that the end of the year exam which will be right on MY BIRTHDAY (i dont care about it anyway but it's sucha bad thing) will affect on how our result was and that makes me feel really sad n I dont feel like living anymore . In Malaysia, they have many classes . It goes with how 'clever' we are . So I dont know If Im still gonna be the'special RK' class anymore. :c I've got no guts to catch up everything I have to catch up like almost all the subject . :/ I started crying after I ask my mom while reading Al-Quran what should I study 2morrow. N she ask me do you want to get out of the skool and just take the exam . N so my eyes was already watery. But I keep reading . Whn I wen back to my room , my sis was sleeping and that was the time I had my opportunity to cry out . [PS It hav been a long time I didnt cry dat time]
I wanna cry as hard as I can .
As many teardrop as possible for all the problem . But I didnt last long . I had to wake my sister up b4 my mom come to wake her up . N Yeah she stop me from crying . I wanted to explain everything to him . HIM . But he just . ! Er ! I dont know if he can understand what Im saying . I wanted to have A BREAK ! from everything . Just die for a while and come back alive the next year . start a new life. But that's so stupid . The reason we cant go back to time is to make us learn from our mistakes.
For now , I could say no one understand our situation . No one let us to talk . except one girl who let us tell everything about how we feel about your life in school . I feel free a little bit but then it come haunting me again . becuaz she said it will be very very difficult . Why must they say something like that . "it's okay" and compare it with their own . NO ! My dreams are ruined . Im scared . Ya Allah ! Ya Allah ! I had to catch up a lot of thing but i didnt try for all . I gave up becuz there's nothing I think I can do . Why cant anybody understand that it's really hard ! >< Ya Allah .
There is soooo much going on and I didnt have the time to write :'{ n Im sorry if you guys in KSA . My babes that I didnt chat with you :c I didnt forget you its just you know hard to explain my situation right now.
Please do understand that it doesnt mean i've new friends i forget about you guys D: Hm .
My life right now is totally not in order right now . I have to adjust every single thing that I do in KSA to what we do in Malaysia . But it's not always right . And most toppest damn problem is : I have to keep trying to continue my studies in the new skool . It is a public skool , we wear uniforms and we hav rules. Last week was really really really a busy week ! going with an exam and the catch up :c AH ! tbh , I didnt sleep for two days and didnt properly eat doing the hw that we were suppose to do whn I was still in KSA :s
The worst thing ever . That exam is for Bahasa Melayu (Malaysian subject) ! NO ! n All i think is about failing . I was already giving up and oh ! I was already giving up whn our geography teacher said that the end of the year exam which will be right on MY BIRTHDAY (i dont care about it anyway but it's sucha bad thing) will affect on how our result was and that makes me feel really sad n I dont feel like living anymore . In Malaysia, they have many classes . It goes with how 'clever' we are . So I dont know If Im still gonna be the'special RK' class anymore. :c I've got no guts to catch up everything I have to catch up like almost all the subject . :/ I started crying after I ask my mom while reading Al-Quran what should I study 2morrow. N she ask me do you want to get out of the skool and just take the exam . N so my eyes was already watery. But I keep reading . Whn I wen back to my room , my sis was sleeping and that was the time I had my opportunity to cry out . [PS It hav been a long time I didnt cry dat time]
I wanna cry as hard as I can .
As many teardrop as possible for all the problem . But I didnt last long . I had to wake my sister up b4 my mom come to wake her up . N Yeah she stop me from crying . I wanted to explain everything to him . HIM . But he just . ! Er ! I dont know if he can understand what Im saying . I wanted to have A BREAK ! from everything . Just die for a while and come back alive the next year . start a new life. But that's so stupid . The reason we cant go back to time is to make us learn from our mistakes.
For now , I could say no one understand our situation . No one let us to talk . except one girl who let us tell everything about how we feel about your life in school . I feel free a little bit but then it come haunting me again . becuaz she said it will be very very difficult . Why must they say something like that . "it's okay" and compare it with their own . NO ! My dreams are ruined . Im scared . Ya Allah ! Ya Allah ! I had to catch up a lot of thing but i didnt try for all . I gave up becuz there's nothing I think I can do . Why cant anybody understand that it's really hard ! >< Ya Allah .
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