Confuse :O PART 3

Great this is really is . EXAM WEEK x.x haha . I tried to focus on this thing while im in the situation which I really cant handle . But I have to remember that's the best ? I shouldnt be disturbing someone's life like HIMS !~ :s

I studied as much as I could but my mom said just dont make yourself stress cause I just entered and all the teachers want is to make us like we are already okay there . I mean Teachers? Please do understand us ._. and stop forcing . We might be crazy . So , I tried as much as I can but if the teacher gets mad at me . blabla , I dont care . If you wanna call my parents go ahead -.-

I didnt wanna disturb him . Seriously dont wanna be mad at ,_, but I ask politely like Im such a stranger . I feel like Im Annoying :s I ask like Im sucha stranger . But It was just for awhile. He was still busy :) Cool cool , chill , chill . He got many friends now :') Good (y) but there something thats repeating there . tbh , whenever I broke up with someone , that someone is .. famous then . >.< Serious . because to remember about STFAG , when I wasnt with him this year , there's a lot of girls start like him :X wow ~ why did I do ? \(._.)/ I lose everything and they get everything ... wow ~ History repeat itself ._. Of course he will forget me . What should you expect -..- Im nothing . Repeat . Im nothing to him anymore . Not a person who cares about him anymore .. Im glad that he found someone else ._. I tried not to care. We are now just chat for only 30 or 1 hrs or so ? :/ bored ~ Oh I just remembered , he have fans now. :'| He sometimes just seen my IM and that's it . I know he's chatting with someone . Someone . </3

Just yesterday I chatted with him the longest . nottt really ~ But he knows now that Im gonna move and yes ! he really supports that I shouldnt be in that school ! :D haha . with the "right?" and the ":P" at the back of his sentence I realize I shouldnt be chasing again. I wanna give up. My eyes hurts. Can I say that Im tired of crying now ? :c Sick , Sick , Sick ! Ah ! Move me away faster . That sentence. Why ? Are happy now that you ruin my life ? D: Yes u ! U know Im new . as so u make my name dirty ! Almost all the ppl that knows u , just ugh ! They all ask . WTF ! I dont know them . they just ask , and my mouth was heavy to say Im not with u anymore . Help me answer them . I just feels like to say "ask him." Why ? Why do u want me at first ? Why :(( Are you happy now ? Im asking you ! Are you happy now ? You dont wanna hurt my heart anymore but who else gonna fix my broken heart . Search me person please ?!

Yesterday , with the watery eyes I ask him about the new "her" (dia) and ask if he gets a new Crush. hakhaks. Any he told me that it's me ... I told him the same too . But is it true ? :( Because he starts to put me aside now .. Can I be like that too ? :'( Im tired of being sad. Im tired of what are you doing ? Just tell me you got someone else . I'll be okay ._.it'll help to move on maybe ? D: all Im doing is Keep Calm . Keep Calm .

Gah ! Stop making me weak. be free ~ be wild ~ Maybe just block me if you dont want me to disturb. Im tired of this . I dont want to give efforts anymore . I just dont want anymore. too tired . All my life in KSA , is already enough being like that . Lifeless. Chasing for someone, putting to much effort on them and they all leave me. STFAG , Niall . Agh , N now you MF ! Get lost boys !This is what I get for being too caring :( I just dont want to care about anyone anymore ... Dont make me Anti-boys please . But maybe that's better :((

"As soon as the bus arrive to pick me up,

All they see is that I've change back.
to a person who wont care about you anymore.
Careless girl. Thats what they want , she said" -