This is not Right .. PART 2

I felt like no one cares about this shit anymore. I tried to show as much as I cant as A BEST FRIEND to an a someone .. someone who I just .. I dont know what to call this anymore . Last week was a an exam week , he was stress. I dont know much about it and so I was worried :/ I dont no why but I still trying to show .. it.. But it was at the wrong time . That was the exactly the time when my soul was just saying yes you are okay now , be kind , stop fighting. When he was away, my friends, all my friends talks. How stupid is the things he has said, the way he thinks and everything .__. And all was true.

After that, I was the one that told my sister to  ask him . And she told me he was stress . Get it .. n I tried to help but, it wasnt worthed . I made him more stress :( and that was the first time he got mad on me :) and so with a little step , I just step back n yes , we are nothing but just friend , just a friend "with no feeling of love" :s Im trying because nvr in life I tried to be friend with someone I've been with . It will be seriously awkward n weird .

And then there came someone along to atleast ask how Im doing , but he was just someone who helped me , to stick on with what I have done . It's like I have to feel grateful for being left for someone like that , n it's just sad to hear my story . I need someone to talk me that day and so he started first . And yeah . A FRIEND at least . Whatever he said , it's just I should be holding on it as a words of something to bring the guts back to me but my heart still says something else :') But that's something else on the eyes of Nazi (should i still use this name -_-) And he tweeted something like he knows what really happen . and im like :O is this how ? wow ~ I was just .. kay Im sorry :L and so I ask him we just friends right ? My heart and my mind was cooperating . I know he was stress and so okay . Keep calm . But for the very first time , he said I disturb his mood ._. kay mean mean . Im nothing anymore I know that for sure. And Im still in the keep calm mood :3 erh . I seriously dont know what to do .. I saw his activity on fb . and he liked some of girls pictures :') Kay I get it .. How fast did he move on ? :O How ? Tell me ? Can i be like that too ? or maybe he hide it in himself . :x How in the world should I know what's going in his mind . too many possibilities. Days by days we were like a stranger. I didnt see him like I use too see him as usual . and one of my friend said "He's like not exist in this school anymore" ._. What should I be feeling right now . Should I feel happy cauze being left by someone like this ? and for real I dream about 2 times -_- A sweet one . Pergh . What this ?

I didnt feel that way , there's no way to go back . I suddenly feel something . Like what ? Yes , missing him . I tried everything to move on . But I dont know who else should I think of. Tbh , the first time I have a crush on him is when i met him at the laboratory for KH:KT (a subject in the school which malaysian took and I took electronic -.-) Yes ! there u go ._. And when he saw me , he said something like "eh an Arab , so shy" and that was the words I still remember :c And then we go going to fast :s and this is what happen. go back to the stage before .

I couldnt go back . Yes , tbh , I know Im wrong too . And that's what my friend said . Or maybe my Best Friend said . She helped me alot and I feel grateful to know her . She experienced as much as I did :')  but the other day , I was about to fight with her just because of him . Im really sorry because of that . I was stress and everything just make me think something really too far . I appreciate her so much . Iloveher ! :* since he almost ruin our friendship and so we had a new name called MF . Yup . I know :) \(-.-)/ I didnt name him , they did .

N whenever I tried to be like we use to be, talk like we use to be, chat like we use to be . It's all different now :') He's quite busy and I wonder what he's doing . It's me the only one who start the conversation. :| wow ~ hm . Never to give up ? Like how ? Can I just stop this :( Why do I feel this way ? I should be free ~! But now it's really really different . Something is always missing . I dont have a person to tell everything to and I know I should be stopping chasing for someone who doesnt have anything with me anymore and just A FRIEND now . I couldnt believe this .. :(( How can boys be so ..

I realize everything now . I LOSE EVERYTHING ! Happy now ? :( Is this how I should I be ? A so called brave girl should be ? Chasing for someone who maybe doesnt love me anymore ? You are still in my heart </3 I cant get u out for some reason. I miss your voice , texts and everything but I have to remember it's over . Over . No more to be fix . And I should be happy becuz that's what I want . Is it ? :s I always in search of someone to care about me soo much . He was the only first one who care about everything all about me . Too much attention on me . But is it true or is it just .. a dream again ?

All you said is just replaying on my mind , all the voices . All lah ! I dont know why . I should be forget it like "Memory deleting Loading%" ._____. Ha ! >.< I nvr leave someone I love ! and this is the first time . Oh how cruel :( but one thing for sure , I know ... I didnt let you go yet ...Ugh . Hm .